Firsts are scary, the unknown possibility of failure and shame. Then there is the awkwardness of developing the skills and acumen to continue in this new first. However, firsts typically happen when you are shedding off or casting aside a previous idea or behavior in order to begin something new. Have you considered that those old things that you have held onto or those things that are a part of you are the very things that the Lord is asking you to shed off so He can do a first in your life? Where you have justified that it is safe and sound and where you're risk-averse, Jesus wants to remind you today He is faithful and will never let you down. That if you take a step and shed that blanky or teddy bear of humanity He will do something so complete in you that it could never compare to what used to be. So, what is He calling for you to surrender to Him today? What change is He inviting you to step into as a first? Shedding old things makes space for God to do exceedingly more than you could think in your life.
"Willingly should we surrender earthly, in order to acquire heavenly goods." Hugh of St. Victor